JOKES

[lollipop]

Lol!

[Goblin King]

[Goblin King]

sockyinsockland.livejournal.com/69137.html
;D

[lollipop]

Love it!
And the comments:

Sarah's comments: I don't think a mug like that would be all that annoying, would it?
Daniel's comments: I'm sorry, but if you got one, I'd have to kill you
Sarah's comments: It would annoy you that much?
Daniel's comments: It would.
Sarah's comments: I know what I'm getting you for Christmas

[Thrin]

admin said:

sockyinsockland.livejournal.com/69137.html
;D

Muaha! Fantastic! ;D

[Goblin King]

Recieved this in an email (hence the ">"s)

>> > > > > BILLY'S GAY DANCER DAD
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > > Billy was at school this morning and the teacher
>> > > > > asked all the children what their fathers did for a
>> > > > > living. All the typical answers came out, fireman,
>> > > > > policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry e
>> > > > > tc but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet
>> > > > > and so the teacher asked him about his father.
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > > "My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and
>> > > > > takes off all his clothes in front of other men.
>> > > > > Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out
>> > > > > with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them
>> > > > > sleep with him."
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > > The teacher quickly set the other children some
>> > > > > work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that
>> > > > > was really true.
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > >
>> > > > > "No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but
>> > > > > I was just too embarrassed to say."
>> > > > >
>> > > > >

[Count Überquart]

Hahaha.

[lollipop]

That's brilliant!

[lollipop]

[Goblin King]

;D ;D ;D

[lollipop]

The Rules

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules can change without notice.

3. Males can't know the rules.

4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some of the rules.

5. The female never bears the blame for being wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something that the male did or said which was wrong.

7. If rule 6 applies, the male must apologize for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind.

9. The male must never change his mind without the consent of the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must always remain calm unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must never let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. If the female has PMS, there are no rules.

14. The male cannot diagnose PMS.

[Goblin King]

;D ;D

[lollipop]

Very true, too.

[Goblin King]

From some feeds on Live Journal:










;D

[Goblin King]

Nerd humour:

archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/images/comics/dorktower551.gif

[lollipop]

[Goblin King]

Frogs:
kingofthebryans.livejournal.com/64648.html

[lollipop]

What? I don't get it.

[Goblin King]

I found it funny. When frogs make lots of noise at night, this is what they are really saying.

[Goblin King]

a mushroom walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

the bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve mushrooms in here."

and the mushroom says, "But hey, I'm a fun guy!" (fungi)

[Goblin King]

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-nine year olds?

....

A: Cuz there's twenty of them.

[Goblin King]

Wintry Calvin & Hobbes.

[Thrin]

admin said:

Frogs:
kingofthebryans.livejournal.com/64648.html

*sniggers*

[Goblin King]

[lollipop]

I like the first snowmen one!
Don't get the last one. (Think I'm being a bit slow today.)

[Goblin King]

That last one is one of my faves because the second snowman is desperately trying to work out where his head has gone. ;D

[lollipop]

Lol! Hadn't noticed that before! But I don't get the speech.

[Thrin]

He's talking about his mother

[lollipop]

An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said: “we're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn. But first, you each can make a final wish.”

The Scotsman says: “I'd like to hear The Flower of Scotland just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played on bagpipes in the style of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards.”

The Irishman says: “I'd like to hear Danny Boy just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.”

The Welshman says: “I'd like to hear Men Of Harlech just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung as if by the Aberavon Male Voice Choir.”



The Englishman says: “I'd like to be shot first.”

[Goblin King]

I think that sums up the UK rather well!

___

Keeping with geography, I've just seen this quote:

"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from."
-Eddie Izzard
;D