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JOKES
Jan 20, 2005 1:45:33 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 20, 2005 1:45:33 GMT
a russian couple were walking down a street in moscow one evening when the guy felt something fall on his nose. he said it was rain, she said it was snow. whilst they were arguing they came across a minor communist party official to whom they put their argument to. the official said he didn't know so they asked comrade rudolph. rudolph said it was rain. the lady was indignant saying, i am sure it was snow. the man turn to her and says, 'Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear'.
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Jan 20, 2005 1:56:28 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 20, 2005 1:56:28 GMT
how do you make Holy water?
you boil the hell out of it.
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JOKES
Jan 20, 2005 9:03:53 GMT
Post by barnyjuno on Jan 20, 2005 9:03:53 GMT
Q: How do you make a bear cross?
A: Nail two bears together.
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JOKES
Jan 26, 2005 0:39:49 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 0:39:49 GMT
why were the bones chasing the skull?
because they wanted to get ahead.
boom boom!
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JOKES
Jan 26, 2005 1:27:11 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 1:27:11 GMT
knock knock
whos there
you ever heard the joke about the broken pencil
you ever heard the joke about the broken pencil who
nevermind its pointless
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JOKES
Jan 26, 2005 14:45:57 GMT
Post by Goblin King on Jan 26, 2005 14:45:57 GMT
;D ;D
(GK goes to bury self to stop the pain!)
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Jan 26, 2005 20:05:25 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:05:25 GMT
^^^^^lol!
what do you call a cow with two legs?
lean beef.
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Jan 26, 2005 20:06:06 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:06:06 GMT
what do you call two fleas on a bald head?
homeless
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Jan 26, 2005 20:06:57 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:06:57 GMT
how many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
depends on how thinly you slice them.
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Jan 26, 2005 20:13:54 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:13:54 GMT
did you hear about the cannibal that arrived late at the dinner party?
they gave him the cold shoulder
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JOKES
Jan 26, 2005 20:14:20 GMT
Post by Goblin King on Jan 26, 2005 20:14:20 GMT
Euueeewww!  ;D |
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Jan 26, 2005 20:20:33 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:20:33 GMT
what did the dog get when he multiplied 88x7?
the wrong answer
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Jan 26, 2005 20:31:23 GMT
Post by Goblin King on Jan 26, 2005 20:31:23 GMT
Are we allowing da-da-ist / surreal humour? lol ;D I must be a sado-masochist cos I want more!  |
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Jan 26, 2005 20:33:12 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:33:12 GMT
what did the sado do to the masochist?
nothing.
GK-you asked for that one hee hee!
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Jan 26, 2005 20:34:46 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:34:46 GMT
why didn't they make two Yogi bears?
cause someone made a Boo-Boo
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Jan 26, 2005 20:35:41 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 26, 2005 20:35:41 GMT
what did the fatherbuffalo say to the son buffalo when he left for school?
bison!
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JOKES
Jan 30, 2005 0:49:36 GMT
Post by jodunford on Jan 30, 2005 0:49:36 GMT
;D ;D i can't physically stop laughing! best thing ive read in a long time. as ive posted now i might as well add a joke.... the police came across two children, one who had swallowed some batteries and one who was eating fireworks. they charged one and let off the other. also, along the buffalo and bison line....theres this one. whats the difference between a buffalo and a bison? you can't wash your hands in a buffalo! sorry, i know their crap xxx |
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Jan 30, 2005 1:37:18 GMT
Post by Goblin King on Jan 30, 2005 1:37:18 GMT
;D (*lol-wince*) ;D |
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Jan 30, 2005 23:21:34 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 30, 2005 23:21:34 GMT
i apologise in advance for this one......
why do farts smell?
so deaf people can enjoy them too.
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Jan 30, 2005 23:25:53 GMT
Post by Goblin King on Jan 30, 2005 23:25:53 GMT
"inclusive" humour - I like it!
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Jan 30, 2005 23:31:26 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 30, 2005 23:31:26 GMT
a panda bear walks into a restaurantand orders a sandwich. he eats the sandwich, shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. a policeman sees the panda and tells him that he just broke the law. the panda replies that he is innocent and if he didn't believe him, he should look it up in the dictionary. the policeman consults the dictionary which says "Panda bear: eats shoots and leaves"
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Jan 30, 2005 23:34:32 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 30, 2005 23:34:32 GMT
how did the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend?
he gave her a ring
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Jan 30, 2005 23:38:18 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 30, 2005 23:38:18 GMT
what do you call a one-legged chicken?
a flamingo
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Jan 30, 2005 23:39:03 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 30, 2005 23:39:03 GMT
what do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam?
sister-in-law
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Jan 30, 2005 23:48:50 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 30, 2005 23:48:50 GMT
a man walks into a ice cream shop........
man: i'd like some chocolate ice cream
scooper:i'm sorry sir, we're out of chocolate. would you like something else?
man: yes, i'd like some chocolate ice cream
scooper: i'm sorry we don't have that. would you like to try a different flavour?
man:um..yes. i'd like some chocolate ice cream
scooper:we don't have that how about a different kind of ice cream?
man: i'll have some chocolate ice cream
scooper: look, mister, can you spell the van in vanilla?
man: v-a-n
scooper: can you spell the straw in strawberry?
man: s-t-r-a-w
scooper: can you spell the f?ck in chocolate?
man: but there is no f?ck in chocolate!
scooper: that's what i've been trying to tell you!
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Jan 31, 2005 0:14:54 GMT
Post by Minotaur on Jan 31, 2005 0:14:54 GMT
why do ducks have webbed feet?
to put out fires.
why do elephants have flat feet?
to put out burning ducks.
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Jan 31, 2005 19:38:05 GMT
Post by jodunford on Jan 31, 2005 19:38:05 GMT
reading this page every day keeps me sane ;D i shall add to it..... why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was dead. why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? it was glued to the first one AND....... what happened when sophie ellis bextor visited france? there was murder on zidanes floor ;D |
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Jan 31, 2005 22:33:32 GMT
Post by Goblin King on Jan 31, 2005 22:33:32 GMT
Maybe I should stick a warning on this thread. lol ;D Some of them are more like philosophical riddles mind. Erm.  I'm not up on the Sophie Ellis Bextor gossip and references - can someone remind me who "Zidane" is? |
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Jan 31, 2005 22:41:44 GMT
Post by jodunford on Jan 31, 2005 22:41:44 GMT
zinedine zidane (Sp?) is a french footballer...
sophie ellis bextor did a song called 'murder on the dance floor', and if u say it quickly zidane can kinda sound like 'the dance'....making it murder on zidanes floor ;D
xxx
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Jan 31, 2005 22:55:02 GMT
Post by Goblin King on Jan 31, 2005 22:55:02 GMT
Ah ha - I got the pun/ play on the name zee dance floor - just thought I was missing something.  Oops and now I've revealed I know very little about current football players. Thanks. Please carry with old the terrible jokes ;D (why can I never think of any?  ) |
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;D
I'm not up on the Sophie Ellis Bextor gossip and references - can someone remind me who "Zidane" is? 
Oops and now I've revealed I know very little about current football players. 
)