Insert rant here

[Count Überquart]

If it makes you feel any better, post-viral fatigue is only one type of ME

[Goblin King]

Gotta catch 'em all.

[mehrfarbig]

I am literally giving up. I am cancelling all my university support as no point getting help because soon as I graduate I will get no help anyway so need to learn to do things alone.

Honestly what is the point...when even specialists call these illnesses pretty much faked and bought on by yourself.

The next person who tells me to see a therapist is going to be in a whole world of pain.

[Count Überquart]

Don't be too hasty, Mehrf.
Getting a degree is hard work. It's something you'll have forever. Life will change after you graduate, of course, but that's no reason not to make use of everything at your disposal now.

[mehrfarbig]

Yeah. I get too reliant on things though.

[Goblin King]

Hey Merf!
Just hang on in there... Even if it doesn't seem to fit into the Big Picture at the moment, a degree (etc) will help in small ways later. I promise you.

[Tinkerbell]

Errgh my email sent spam to everyone last night, including every job I have ever applied for Now it turns out my virus scanner has been turned off so there is probably something horrible lurking.

[Goblin King]

Apology emails can be a way of getting back into cntact with people. If people get funny with you, it's only a matter of time before they are hacked and realise. My last embarrassment like hat was on Twitter. Horrible stuff. Do you use Outlook? Microsoft seem to want to update the security on it a lot - so sometimes it can be solved by downloading updates and their Malicious Software Removal which used to be part of their essential updates. Also people have to be responasable before clicking links or running problems from emails. (oops sorry, I'm going on a bit - sometimes the problem is through Facebook -change all passwords - even webmail isn't safe!)

[mehrfarbig]

Preparing for battle.

Another attempt at getting the doctor to agree my illness is not caused by depression...must book appointment next week.

NOT looking forward to it.

I still think it is fibromyalgia and onset psoriatic arthritis.

[Tinkerbell]

Mar 9, 2013 19:49:16 GMT Goblin King said:

Apology emails can be a way of getting back into cntact with people. If people get funny with you, it's only a matter of time before they are hacked and realise. My last embarrassment like hat was on Twitter. Horrible stuff. Do you use Outlook? Microsoft seem to want to update the security on it a lot - so sometimes it can be solved by downloading updates and their Malicious Software Removal which used to be part of their essential updates. Also people have to be responasable before clicking links or running problems from emails. (oops sorry, I'm going on a bit - sometimes the problem is through Facebook -change all passwords - even webmail isn't safe!)

Most of them bounced back undelivered so hopefully I haven't annoyed anyone, don't think anyone would follow the link. It was my yahoo email, I've changed my password and virus scan didn't find anything so hopefully that's the end of it.

[Darkness]

Friend was supposed to be coming to see me at 3.30pm. I waited and waited then found she'd sent an email at 3.10pm to cancel, saying she had a headache and was going home. Fair enough if she's ill, but that was very short notice and I get very wound up waiting for people, as I am always on time or early. Before looking at my email, at 4pm I called her mobile to see if she was ok, and it rang four times before going to voicemail, so she must have seen it was me and hit the reject call button. Am a bit pissed off with her. She lives really near and I haven't seen her for about 6 months, because she's always busy. I've still got a xmas present to give to her. Not impressed at all.

[mehrfarbig]

I guess it depends what kind of ill...I often have to make last minute cancellations due to being ill.

Maybe it was just an excuse though, convenient how she was ill on exactly the day she was meant to visit.

[Count Überquart]

I can see why you're upset though, Jo. Email is just not an appropriate way to cancel at such late notice. She should have phoned to make sure you had received the message.
It really sucks when you're just sitting around waiting and getting more and more anxious.

[mehrfarbig]

She does sound a bit rude!

Some people are just not worth the time sometimes for the anxiousness/stress/annoyance they cause...I am not a fan of let downs.

[someone]

Life. Just urgh.

[Darkness]

So sick of the cold weather. My gas bill for this past quarter is very high, and yet the house is still cold. My own bloody fault for buying a Victorian house I suppose. But I don't remember it being as bad as this before.

[mehrfarbig]

I often just drape myself in blankets during cold times. lol

[Goblin King]

I pretend I'm Batman and Caesar.

[Count Überquart]

Rant as follows:

1. Every time I talk to Alicks or think about Alicks or text Alicks I get really, really angry with him. I think this is because I'm jealous of him. Crap.
2. I've been so ill for the last two days that I've barely been able to eat, or stand up long enough to even get dressed, or think at all, so I've done almost no work and work is like mega mega on right now.
3. And today I can stand up for a few minutes without going really really nauseous and fainty, which is only damn fair because I spent the last two days in bed, but now my back is in spasm and ohmygodthispainisunreal and f?cking hell body really.
4. And the fatigue is kicking my ass like I'm sleeping more than ten hours a night and then spending all day staring at the wall in a daze and then sleeping like I've worked a 12-hour shift or something. When I wake up I could easily go back to sleep for two more hours, then another two hours...
5. I had a pain management appt on Monday (the 29th) which I reluctantly cancelled because if I'm as ill as I've been I couldn't do the journey anyway (it's in Leicester) and even if I could it'd use all these spoons and I need to work so much I can't afford it at all and I know I made the right call but DAMN you wait so long for these appointments and I'm completely on my own I have no pain meds or anything at the moment and I might just have to start smoking weed. (Except it's been pointed out to me that this probably isn't a good idea with the constant nausea and my fucked up stupid autonomic nervous system I'd probably whitey and then be sick for about a week.)
6. No... I think that's it. It's enough though, right?

[Goblin King]

I was just about to suggest very strong amphetamines.

[Count Überquart]

I had decided on an excellent drug regime for myself.
Cocaine, so I can be awake.
Weed, so I can eat.
Heroin, for pain.
Yep, that'd definitely be better. ;D

[mehrfarbig]

You will have to work even more to afford all that.

You'll need to employ a chemist (?) to check the drugs for added "extras". lol

[Count Überquart]

Yeah, we can hijack university equipment. It'd be fun.

[Goblin King]

You know what, I think the judge might even sympathise ... despite the rock n roll style drug demands of the regime. I wonder if anyone is trying genetically alter morphine to create different varieties the body can move between when it gets resistant, addicted or used to one type?
Oh, man, I'd be a rubbish doctor. I'd either be too scared to prescribe anything or I'd be philosophical and say "And why not?" whenever anyone wanted to try out a specialist treatment. Of course, the NHS would be bankrupt in a week and I'd be off my face under a desk somewhere.

[mehrfarbig]

I really do not understand ArcMap10!!

[Goblin King]

ArcMap ? This is most intriguing - layered mapping software? Looks technical.

[mehrfarbig]

It is the kind of software that allows companies to work out the best places to put bus stops and things.

I mean it is all right, but like all software it is temperamental. lol

[Darkness]

Went to CPN appointment which was fine, then went to cash machine - did the transaction, got my card back, but it didn't give me the cash (£200). Went inside and told the receptionist woman, and she said to queue to talk to the guy behind the window thing. He said as it's not my usual bank he couldn't help. So then I had to go to my bank, which meant going out of my way. Explained in there, and had to wait. Eventually saw the right person, and they said it was ok, the money had not left my account. Then because I still needed the money, I had to queue for the cash machine and do it all over again. Then had a longer walk than I would have had, to get to the taxi rank, to get home.

I can't walk very far without my back giving way on me or feeling dizzy, and I can't stand up for very long for the same reason (caused by major anxiety/panic attacks and possibly a side effect of my meds). So this was all really hard and horrible and totally ruined my day. Add to that the worry that £200 of my money might have been 'lost' somewhere along the way.

I needed to sit on a bench outside for about 5 minutes, before going to the taxi rank, and my face got sun burnt and had prickly heat (a side effect of another of my meds is that my skin cannot cope when the sun comes out).

Really pissed off about the whole thing, and have to keep bathing my face with cucumber toner to get it to cool down.

[Goblin King]

Considering the amount of ATM fraud happening - it's surprising how casual the staff were. I guess you have to be slumming it mentally to work in a bank in little Loughborough.

[Darkness]

The friend who was supposed to be seeing me on 12th March (see further up this thread), has finally got back to me and told me she can fit me in at 3pm on Thursday 27th June. I am clearly honoured. I still have xmas and birthday presents to give her, long overdue. She can be really lovely, but I'm still mega pissed off with her at the moment.